1. Know you can survive. You may not think so, but you can.
2. Struggle with “why” it happened until you no longer need to know, or until you are satisfied with partial answers.
3. Know you may feel overwhelmed by the intensity of your feelings, but that all your feelings are normal.
4. Anger, guilt, confusion, and forgetfulness are common responses. You are not crazy—you are in mourning.
5. Be aware you may feel appropriate anger at the person, at the world, at God, at yourself. It’s O.K. to express it.
6. You may feel guilty for what you think you did or did not do. Guilt can turn into a healthier regret through forgiveness.
7. Having suicidal thoughts is common. It does not mean that you will act on those thoughts. But do talk to someone about them.
8. Remember to take one moment and one day at a time.
9. Find a good listener—or several of them—with whom to share. Call one of them if you need to talk.
10. Don’t be afraid to cry. Tears are healing.
11. Give yourself time to heal.
12. Expect setbacks. If emotions return like a tidal wave, you may only be experiencing a remnant of grief, an unfinished piece.
13. Try to put off major decisions.
14. Give yourself permission to get professional help.
15. Be aware of the pain of your family and friends.
16. Be patient with yourself and with others who may not understand.
17. Set your own limits. Learn to say no.
18. Steer clear of people who want to tell you what or how to feel.
19. Know that there are support groups that can be helpful. If you can’t find one, ask a professional to help start one.
20. Call on your personal faith to help you through.
21. It is common to experience physical reactions to your grief, such as headaches, loss of appetite, inability to sleep.
22. The willingness to laugh with others and at yourself is healing.
23. Wear out all your questions, anger, guilt or other feelings until you can let them go. Letting go doesn’t mean forgetting.
24. Know that you will never be the same again, but you can survive and even go beyond just surviving.

Adapted from Iris Bolton. Suicide and Its Aftermath: Understanding and Counseling the Survivors by Edward Dunne, John McIntosh and Karen Dunne-Maxim.